This past Saturday i didn't have a PCA and so that means that i don't have someone to help get Sophina her drink from a cup. You see, it has been two months...maybe more, that we have been trying to get her her milk using any means possible. I have been to the store to try ANYTHING that could help!
Bottles of every kind, cups with many different kinds of tops, to taking the lid off and just having it open. It would be about 40-60 minutes of work to get anywhere from 5mls-20mls. of liquid. Just to let you know, 5mls is the same as a teaspoon!!! If you don't believe how hard this has been just ask our PCA or the 4 girls still at home...i have had to have a time out twice. It's exhausting mentally and emotionally. We try to do this as often as we can, up to four times a day.
Back to this past Saturday, the first feeding, i tried what i had been trying lately....a lid that kind of looks like a nipple for a bottle. It was an hour and she had MAYBE 10 mls. BUT during that time it wasn't a big fight like it normally had been. The next time, i decided that i should try to squirt some into her mouth and she did better! Maybe about 15 mls! The next time, i tried a cup from Tupperware that was NOT like anything i had tried before and she let me. AGAIN, it was only a little but it was doing well. That night, it went well again. I thought that i should text our PCA but usually when i had done that in the past, it goes backwards, so i didn't.
Sunday morning, i went to feed her with high hopes and it was a disaster! I was near tears! I cried out to the Lord. "Lord, what am i suppose to be doing? HOW MUCH LONGER??? WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO? Should i be waiting? Am i pushing her more than i should be?" I wish that i could show you what it took to get her to drink! Let's just say that i would get my exercise.
Now, enter the sermon on Sunday. If you were there, do you remember when Pastor came up in the middle of the last song and asked something like...."What is it that you think God is taking too long to answer?" Immediately, my response was that of Sophina's eating. I immediately felt peace that i didn't have to worry about this anymore....this was up to God...it will be in HIS time!
Sunday afternoon i had to take Alex across town to take her to a grad party. I was bummed that i was having to take her across town, then would have to go home to wait for Sophina to wake up, feed her (which would take who knows how long, take her and Catherine (who didn't want to go away from playing outside) to go 1/2 mile from where i was! I got a text and so i saw that it was our PCA, Tiana! She was wondering what time she should come! She would be taking care of Sophina and i could go to the party for Anne!!!
At the party, i told Dawn Becker how amazing it was that her just barely 1 year old was downing blueberries, strawberries, crackers, and anything else in sight AND she was drinking from Dawn's water bottle! I shared with her about what was happening and how it is what i needed to stop fighting what God was trying to teach me. As i was talking to her, it hit me like a ton of bricks......the last five children that i have read about coming home to their families from their countries...four children are completely malnourished like the pictures you see from the days of the concentration camps. One is coming home RIGHT NOW! The family couldn't get him to drink for anything and he is sadly very malnourished.
Another died before he made it home....the weekend of Mother's Day.
I digressed.....what hit me was when Dawn asked me if we were prepared for that kind of child. I let her know that we had talked about it and knew that it was a great possibility! THAT may be the reason why i have gone through this LONG battle with Sophina? You may think that that is the end of the story but that....is just the beginning! Chelie Canning, Dawn and i talked about the sermon on Sunday and i felt refreshed with a whole new attitude. It will be in God's timing!
After THREE HOURS of being with other people without any of my children....it WAS amazing, i went home. Tiana told me that the feeding had gone incredibly well!!! She did well again that night. The next morning, i went to put the 1/7th of a cup of goat's milk into her Tupperware cup as normal. The Holy Spirit asked, 'Do you have faith?' I remembered the people who prayed for rain and THEN TOOK UMBRELLAS the next day. SO i poured it to half the cup!!! She fought me just like normal for the first drink but then for the next hour, she took sips and she drank more than 1/2 of what i had put in!!! I was thrilled! She did it again at lunch and drank well again! She did well again that night for Tiana.
Through this whole time we would try to get her to take the cup herself but she would freak out and push it away from her face! She did really well yesterday again. She would take an hour but do about 1/4 to 1/3 of the cup! Today, she took forever again...taking an hour BUT SHE DRANK a little more than 1/2 a cup!!!! AND SHE DRANK THE LAST PART ALL BY HERSELF!!!! Neither Alex's or my phone camera worked so Victoria tried to get a shot of it. I give God all the glory and i believe in miracles because i have seen many AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM!!!!