Our family has had quite a roller coaster ride through the adoption of Ethan, especially the last two weeks for me. i went from wondering one week if we were really going to be able to make it through the whole process, to learning to finally be content with not going to see Ethan when we were planning & knowing that God knows what He is doing....more than that though---actually FEELING content,is HUGE. THEN to being blown away by the people that God has brought into our lives.
I felt that our family was falling apart...i can't do this...Sophina is going backward...i'm not having alone time with our girls...my life is already so 'in these four walls'...well, you get the picture! THEN, i took a step back & realized that i needed to change some things so i am now having alone time with each of the girls...Sophina is doing better again (still struggling but not overwhelming me) and having alone time with the Lord. I feel like our lives are getting back in order. I knew though that our not having a time of retreat for the past few years has been very hard & i could just feel like i had to do something! SO, i put a short paragraph out on FB...that if anyone had a cabin that we could use to get away that we would be very appreciative...no one responded & i wasn't going to ask again--i had only felt like i was suppose to ask once. The night that i said to myself that it didn't look like it was going to happen...LATE in the night an inside message came saying that that person had checked with all the other family members & we could use their cabin...it is better than any cabin i have been to. Grateful...it still seems too good to be true! Overwhelmed!
THEN...there was our Sunday service where again the Lord reminded me that we CAN DO THIS... we can take care of each of our incredible, beautiful, precious children & add more to love & have JOY in the process & be blessed ALWAYS!!! The lady who is doing the embroidery on Ethan's quilt was at church & i asked her if she would be willing to embroider Ethan Scott Andrew Lindquist on our son's little blanket that we bought...just a fleece one that i had picked up for him because there MAY be a family that is going to the same orphanage as his & i wanted something special for him to have. She said that it was no problem! I was grateful again.
THEN...i was walking & i heard my name & turned toward a young couple & she said, "Connie, are you still adopting?" and i told her that we were & i asked how we knew each other & she told me that i had shook their hands before a service and that her mother's name was the same as mine. She also reminded me that they had talked about coming to our garage sale & that they lived very close to our home. I remembered all of that & remembered their faces. She asked questions & i was eager to answer. She said that she had wanted to give us something for quite awhile but that it had just never worked out. We talked for quite awhile & i didn't know if i should tell her about the quilt or if the $20 would be too much to tell her about so i didn't go into great detail. I told her thank you so much when she gave me the folded check & that our daughter & son-in-law were speaking in the other room & that i should run...hugged & left to the Ukrainian luncheon to learn about the group's mission trip.
I gathered our other girls & found that Sophina had had a HUGE meltdown for some odd reason in the fellowship hall...the girls didn't know if it was because there was food at the table or that it was a high chair that she had never sat in but it had been a VERY LOUD outburst from Sophina. They were still trying to calm her down. I was about to sit down when i opened the check before i was going to put it in my purse & i immediately sucked in air & my eyes immediately filled with tears!!! Everything went quiet...i didn't know if the girls were still talking to me or not as i walked out...showed Liz who was in the hallway, w/tears in my eyes as i walked quickly to go find the couple. I finally found them & thanked them & told them that they had made me cry! She had tears in her eyes too & they said that they were thankful to help.
The Lord encouraged me in some REALLY REALLY BIG ways this weekend! I was at my lowest point not long before that! What amazes me over and over again is that the Lord is still faithful with me when i am not faithful with Him. THAT. BLOWS. MY. MIND!!!
SO....the four girls and i are going to have some alone time together...some catching up time... some reacquaintance time & i cannot wait. We are still needing to raise over $3,000 before we leave for our first trip...which i am not even guessing as to when it will be...probably December but who knows-except God! I am fine with that...i may not be next week but i promise that i will be trying to be more content with the major ups & downs of this whole process!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ---will you...yes, YOU, pray on a DAILY basis for our Ethan...for our family...for all that is involved in the process...some of you know more how to pray than others because you have been there but some of you know how to pray more than others because you know us...please pray about what you DO know ...encouragement, peace, joy, wisdom, love, humility, fund raising, ideas, discernment, balance, contentment, gratefulness, & much more.
We are SO SO SO very grateful for the gifts from the $10 gift to the $1,000, from the $50 to the $500 gifts...each gift brings us closer and closer to bringing Ethan home... we cannot wait!
Lovingly and always blessed, Connie for the crew!