the week that came before the incredible night that rocked Ethan's world

Oh my goodness! There was so much that happened this past week! I want to tell you that our life is always an adventure.  Sorry that this is so long and "choppy" as i wrote this throughout the day as Catia did her Science, Vika did her math or while i ate my breakfast and then lunch and then tried to finish it while Sophina slept.
One more thank you first though....
SO many people were willing to SHARE our friend's etsy shop fund raiser on their FB walls and i was SO very grateful! SOME who aren't used to sharing such things as fund raisers for adoptions and some who are like me (you know the type....ones who will give you a new story EVERY DAY of why we need to be involved in praying, encouraging, giving and adopting) and do you know what was amazing?  MOST of those people who SHARED it on their walls had at least ONE person who went and looked at the shop!  SHARING this fund raiser was one of the greatest gifts of the whole week SO IF YOU did....THANK YOU!!!!!!

Before the afternoon of Ethan's birthday (was that just yesterday????) I need to tell you that the past week had NOT been one of my favorites overall.  I will tell you why.  Our family has been sick and while it is no big deal that Scott, Victoria and Alexandra have a cold, other than the fact that they are miserable; it IS a big deal when our Sophina gets sick.  When i wrote about my being able to sing two Sundays ago and how our Ally took care of Sophina so i could sing and then Sophina would NOT eat OR drink.  It may have been the beginning of her feeling ill. That day was the last day that Sophina got fed through the mouth.  She has been tube fed ever since.

For those of you who do not know it, our Sophina has a GI tube and she was fed through it for MANY MANY MANY months...was it two years even?  That Sunday that i got to sing i felt that the next day we were going to be introducing the next stage of food to her and i was thrilled that we were FINALLY at this point!  SO....it is a VERY hard thing to know that this could set us back again...BIG time OR it could just be a bump in the road. She STILL is not at a stage of being able to eat through the mouth as i write this. PLEASE PRAY for this simple function that MOST of your children do that is taken for granted (as i did with our other four) that is NOT taken for granted with our Sophina.  SO Sophina was very sick and finally on the night before Ethan's 3rd birthday, we had to take her in to Express care where we found out that she had the beginning stages of pneumonia. When we got home from Express Care i found out that our Catherine was NOT well at all either! It was me alone that was well and the next day was Ethan's birthday.

I have to tell you that i stayed up late that night....and looked through the pictures of Ethan...it WAS his birthday at that time halfway around the world.  I wondered if they even celebrated.  I wondered if he even knew.  I wondered if i there would be a picture.  I wondered if he woke up early because it was his birthday.  The next morning, i was working on pleading for help on FB from friends.  I KNEW that the day was going to be devoted to the fund raiser and i was right.  BUT in the middle of the morning there was  a group of FIVE ladies sitting on our couches and on the floor with three of our girls, our PCA (new one-wooohooooo!!!!!) Becky, and myself.  They were there to assess our Sophina.  I don't know what i thought was going to happen but i was NOT prepared.   I wish that i would have been.

(OK, REMEMBER the week that i had had before this.....several sick children with one of them in NOT great shape at all, Ethan's THIRD birthday in an orphanage!!! and not with me and no signing of papers coming in the near future it seemed as all seems to be at a standstill for those before us) (OH and i also forgot to tell you that our Ally let me know that i had "more laundry to do because last night when we got home, i found a bunch of water in the basement that Victoria and i cleaned up as we knew that it was not something that you needed to know last night)

SO....i come in thinking that they all know and adore our daughter and see all that we see and instead was told.... 'i really can't understand what she is saying unless you tell me'....she doesn't say her words clearly'..."she really needs to get out more"..."she needs to go outside and learn to walk on different kinds of ground"...."she doesn't have as much strength as we would like to see in her core"...and much more all cushioned in around 'she has great expressions'....'she copies you all in your tones'...'she is doing better at...' I then was shown on a sheet of paper where she was at when compared to "typical children"...six months for feeding.....18-21 months for this....18-24 months for that so rounded out she is about at an 18 month old!!!  (she is 35+ months old)WHY did i let this bother me so!?!?!  It didn't bother me BEFORE i saw it on paper!!!  But the longer it went through my head, the more it bothered me!  ( HELLO!?!?!?!  Did you not just hear that she has pneumonia?  THAT is why i don't have her in nursery being with children her own age....EVERY single time she goes out and there is someone with even a sniffle OR someone comes in sick...she gets like ....THIS!  YES, she gets out BUT not in a nursery or at our home school group nursery.... the kids have colds and i would NEVER be able to do anything but bring her there then have her be sick then do it again! We already have her sick ENOUGH!  OUTSIDE??? Well, her fingers turn grey after being outside for ten minutes in FORTY degree weather (which, by the way, is WARM for MN)...her hands and feet will ALWAYS be this way!  They told me at Children's that she will not be able to be out in extreme cold or hot or humid temps...hmmmm....MN is not her friend.  We can't understand her....she needs to be stretched more.....are you kidding me???  Each of the girls read her 10 board books a day and i read her at least that much but closer to twenty!  DOES ANYONE ELSE REALIZE THAT YOU ARE COMPARING HER TO A TYPICAL CHILD?

I wanted our son HOME for his birthday!!! (shocking me but it made my eyes water just writing it now)  I wanted our other children WELL!!!  I wanted a house that did not leak!!! (WHY was it leaking in the middle of February anyway!!!!)  I wanted our adoption grant to grow!!!  I wanted to be assured that our Sophina would be ok and would not die like i have seen so many do this past year!!!  I just wanted her to EAT!!!  I WANTED PEOPLE TO SEE HER SWEET SPIRIT...(tears are flowing) I WANTED PEOPLE TO SEE HER PRECIOUS GIGGLE ...I WANTED THEM TO SEE HER THE WAY HER MOMMY SEES HER!!! It was ripping my heart out! (tears are still flowing)

 I lost faith that the $1500 that i had prayed for was going to come in.  It was 2pm on the last day and we were at $1000!  My spirits were SO low!!!  My heart was aching for Ethan...for his smell, his giggle, his deep laugh, those dimples, to kiss him, to hold him, to wish him a Happy Birthday!!!  To KNOW that we were going to be able to bring him home SOON!  I had SO wanted to have him home by THIS day (yesterday) AND i could not believe how much THIS FACT was affecting me too!  It was all so much!!!

I finally just decided to get to work in asking my friends to SHARE about our friend's fund raiser and people responded....slowly at first.  I felt weird asking for help for OUR son this time.  I had not been afraid to share OTHER peoples' adoption needs but this was different.  YET, i SO wanted to bring Ethan home if the MOJ started signing papers and we weren't able to go yet...oh my!  SO i did what i had done for Constance last year EVERY DAY...i asked MANY people for help in the last hours and people responded more and more!  Pretty soon i was just so busy that i couldn't even keep up with answering questions and asking more to SHARE! THEN GOD ROCKED MY WORLD by MANY responding!  LATE last night the result of those people saying yes....the money that i had prayed for had come in.  That money brought us even closer to the needed $5250 that we are needing to write for the LAST adoption fees!!!

SO....that was where i was at until the last hours of the fund raiser when you all ROCKED MY WORLD because you rocked our son's future! As usual, we are ALWAYS BLESSED!!! Connie for the crew!