I'm ready to collapse into a heap of tears. After my being sick all morning through till about an hour AFTER i had Scott's popcorn with old flat Coke... i don't know if i really am better as i AM still weak & unable to eat "real food" but i have been able to do more this evening. I wish that that was the reason that i was ready to cry but it is not.
Our Sophina has a very bad cold. I am hearing her now in the monitor...she is congested to the max, has a cough that is not good and she is miserable. I stopped packing to rub down her feet with Thieves, put Vicks all over her chest and back and neck and rubbed her down trying to massage her junk out. She is HORRIBLE. I can't begin to tell you what this is doing to my emotions. I seriously and i mean this...would have been fine with leaving BUT THIS....is going to be one of the hardest things that i have ever done!!! She does NOT do well when she has a cold like this.
We did legal paperwork that gives Tiana rights for Sophina's medical care but when i was doing it up i wasn't thinking that they would have to use it. My mind is really struggling with grasping this loss of control because it is HUGE....when a child is sick, they need their Mommy and their Mommy wants to be the one to care for them. I. NEED. PRAYER. TO. TRUST....my heart is being ripped into pieces as i hear her and i am having a very hard time.
STILL packing as today we also had refinancing of our house that the paperwork was brought to take care of but we had to wait for forty-five minutes because it wasn't correct. I had to get our house stuff ready for when we are gone....piles of stuff that needed taking care of. PLUS the fact that i was so weak and ill. THIS is NOT what i pictured us doing as we prepare to leave.....i am probably NOT making sense but just KNOW that we are needing to be COMPLETELY covered in prayer...the kind that takes a few minutes and concentration...not the passing kind that happens while thinking of other things ;) I am so struggling.....thanks for lifting us up!